Hiding the Pain...and Moving Forward..

I'm not so sure how to describe how i'm feeling all the time...so I don't ever try to. I like to bottle up everything..it's just how I deal with pain. I hide my sadness, stress, and fear. I don't want people to see me break down, ever. I get told over and over that it isn't a good way to deal with my emotions but i've never really had anyone here with me all the time that I can talk to. Living with guys in the house is kinda hard...you learn to do things differently then most girls would. You grow up not knowing what girls would go through until it happens. I have my girlfriends..but I don't want to bug them with all my stupid problems so once again I hide the pain. I'm used to it though. I've been doing it for so many years that its just part of my daily life. I smile and pretend i'm okay, when in reality i'm just dying to cry out for help.



I like to do everything on my own. I won't except anything from anyone because I like to do it by myself. Don't ask to help me because I won't except your help. I'm independent and I will always be. Since I don't ever want help, I tend to learn the hard way with everything. I know it's stupid, but thats the way it is for me. I grew up without a mom, and went through tough times with my family. I don't really have the same life style as most girls. I didn't get a choice weather I got to see my mom or not...but what I do get to decide is where I take my life. So i'm going to keep on moving forward...even if I hit some bumps in the road..I'll stay on the path...and hope my life will last.